Monday, March 02, 2009

[Hindi_Jokes] Boring Jokes read again

Boy said to Girl- Aa mere dil  me aaja
Girl replied- Chappal utaroo kya?
Boy- Chal pagli ye koi mandir thode hi h aise hi aaja
*************************
Girl- hamari shaadi ko 24 ghante ho chuke h
boy- aur aisa lag raha h jaise kal ki hi baat ho
*************************
BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
*************************
MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
*************************

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
*************************

AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
*************************
Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
*************************

CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
*************************

DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
*************************

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
*************************
 
Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
*************************

teacher:what do you call person who cannot hear anything

studant:you can call him any thing,because he cannot hear anything.
*************************
mil gaya,oye hoye mil gaya, balle balle mil gaya, dhinchak dhincak koi mil gaya, apna sara kaam chhos kar fizool ka SMS parnewaala ek aur BEWAKUFF!! mil gaya.
*************************
 

why women live a better, longer & peacefull life?

because women dont have a wife...
*************************

church ke gate par likha tha:jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye,

ek callgirl ne niche apna mibile no. likh diya:aur jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye..
*************************
 

ladkiya kadko k saamne aane k baad hi kyu apna dupatta thik karti hai

kyunki, lutero ko dekhne k baad hi apni dolat ki hifazat ka khayal aata hai..
*************************

ek gujju ka sapne me kisi ne rape kar diya

next day us ne apna bank account band karva diya

kuonki, bank me likha tha: ham aap k sapno ko haqiqat me badal denge..
*************************

baap: beta mene tumhare liye ek ladki dhundhi hai

wo roopvati, gunvati aur sarasvati hai..

beta:lekin me kisi aur ladki se pyaar karta hu

aur wo GARBHVATI hai..
*************************
Old Man-"putar ander se mere daant le aa"

Pota-"par dada ji abhi roti to bani nahi"

Budda-- "o nahi putar roti nahi khani samne wali buddi nu smile deni a "
*************************
Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lein gey,

Mom : lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai,

Child: Papa to kahte hain k sari phul-jhadiyan yahi rahti hain.
*************************
Ek ladke ko kya chahiye?

Ek ladki jo pyar de,
Ek ladki jo acha khana banaye,
Ek ladki jo us ki khob khidmat kare,

Aur ye teeno larkiyan mil jul kar rahain. :p
*************************

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
Janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,

Ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.

Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
Husband : peche line main lago. :p
*************************
TAKE A LOOK:

Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
*************************
Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
*************************
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
*************************
Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
*************************
Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????
*************************
Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????
*************************
Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????
*************************
Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????
*************************
Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
*************************
Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????
*************************

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
*************************
Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????
*************************
The best of the lot
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE . COM  at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

*************************

Hight Of all (Too Good)

customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how  do I find your computer?
*************************
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posted by Raghubar at 11:19 AM

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