[hindi_jokes] When flirting goes too far...
Thanks Sriram ji!!
When flirting goes too far...
Harmless flirtation, when taken too far,
can create cracks in any steady relationship.
Here's what you should know...
Come on, admit it,
you've fantasied about the handsome stranger
you sat next to on the train or flirted with
the hot guy who gives you that extra bit of attention at work.
And most the time that's as far as it goes.
A quick naughty thought here,
the odd lingering glance there.
Your partner doesn't know about it and he doesn't need to.
But what about when that lingering glance turns
into a flirtatious conversation,
a quick drink, back to his for coffee.
How do you know when you are beginning to slide
down that slippery slope to something more?
The truth is, most of us do know, but we just try
to ignore the signs.
Is your flirtation at the coffee shop
lasting just a little longer each time?
Is that fantasy about the man on the train appearing more
often than thoughts about your own boyfriend?
Thinking about other guys can be healthy for a relationship.
It lets us mentally play out scenes in our head without
actually realizing them and risking hurting anyone.
And scold me for saying it, but sometimes even
a quick misdemeanor can be beneficial for your relationship.
SMALL STORY
Helen (name changed) has been with her partner for
10 years but about three years ago found herself
intensely attracted to a man she worked with.
"My relationship with my boyfriend was the strongest
but I guess after eight years we had lost some
of that sexual flirtation that this guy offered."
She explains, "We flirted a lot and I was very tempted to
take it further but the thought of hurting my partner stopped me.
It made me rethink my relationship.
I told my boyfriend everything and the way he was so
understanding and patient about it reminded me what
a wonderful person he is.
The thought that we might not be together forever frightened
me so much it made me consider his feelings more.
It also made me thank my lucky stars every day that
I hadn't given it all up for what was really a crush."
Helen is a classic example of how we don't realise
what we have until there's a chance it might be taken away.
A similar experience can signal a big turning point in relationships.
"I was just about to move in with my boyfriend
and was having a bit of a crisis about losing my independence,"
recalls SAPNA (name changed).
"I met this drop-dead gorgeous guy when
I was away for work and I was caught up in that heady,
initial attraction.
We kissed, and it was just what I needed to realise
my boyfriend and I may have moved past that
lusty stage but we have so much more.
I never told him. Why would I?
It would just hurt him when it meant nothing
and made me love him more."
Unfortunately, not all flirtations end in
'and we lived happily ever after...'.
"Flirting is like lovemaking with no serious intention.
Often when a person is unable to deal with
it when things get more involved. Not everybody
is fit for flirtation. Slide too far down that slippery
slope and it can be impossible to pull yourself back up,"
says clinical psychologist Varkha Chulani.
Often, we might feel we can keep our feelings
under control and that it doesn't really mean
anything that you're always thinking about another guy or girl.
But often, one thing leads to another and before you know it,
you're having an affair.
And when your partner finds out,
that's when it might just be the relationship
and it was too late to rectify the situation.
You should know how to trust your instinct.
It it feels wrong, it probably is and if you're getting your
kicks outside the relationship you shouldn't be in a relationship.
And in case you're wondering what it would be like
to kiss Brad Pitt and you plan to carry on flirting
with the guy or girl you regularly meet at the coffee shop,
it's like chocolate.
We all know that the triple chocolate brownie is not good
for us but it just tastes so good.
So we convince ourselves that if we walk an extra mile
or just eat fruit for the rest of the week then we can have it.
And why not, a little bit of bad is good for you.
But if you start eating triple chocolate brownie every
day or convince yourself that having an apple after
it counteracts the effect then you could be in for a bit of trouble.
We are all smart,
street-wise people and know
we should follow our instinct.
It's just difficult to listen to reason sometimes
when you really want something.
So girls, keep flirting, keep fantasising,
and keep having a few fancies.
Just listen to your heart and know when it is time
to put down the fork and step away from the plate.
-
Sriram Savarkar
Hinduism is more a way of life than a method of worship.
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posted by Raghubar at
11:30 AM
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